April 22, 2017 - The Fifth Commandment

The Fifth Commandment

On this cold autumn morning in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, I am thinking about my parents.  The older I get, the more I discover what a blessing I have been given.

My father, Dr. Paul Potter, is a professor of communication, and radio and television production.  When I was a child, my friends always commented how intelligent he seemed.  He has a way of speaking that draws you into his stories.  Maybe my writing abilities comes from years of listening to him speak.  My father introduced me to both Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, though when he did, I thought they were just kiddie literature, never realizing the depth of spiritual meaning behind those great works of literature.  Today my father is looking to change from being a professor to being a pastor.  He will make a wonderful pastor, because he has a caring heart and he believes in the power of prayer.

My mother, Shirley Pennoyer, is now retired.  That is after my mother learned to be a single mom, caring for three teenaged boys, one with epilepsy and cerebral palsy.  She experienced having no money, even as doctor bills piled up.  She taught me the love of simple things like a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup.  My mother learned to care for her family, working long hours and learning the business from her boss, Jim Gray, eventually starting her own company and earning a six-figure income.  As I said, today she is retired, caring for my aging, forgetful, and irascible grandma, and my younger brother.  If you were to meet her, you would soon learn that she knows every verse of every song in the hymnal.  She has a passion for praying for the salvation of her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.

Both of my parents taught me a love of art, Brazilian jazz, classical music, and good books.  I think my desire to see and experience so much of the world is a byproduct of the things they taught me.

The Fifth Commandment is about respect for parental authority.  While the first four teach us about our relationship with God, the last six teaches us about our relationship to our fellow men.  This commandment opens the door, by introducing us to one of the most important relationships we will ever have.  It reads as follows:

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”

This command teaches us the fundamentals of respect for our fellow man.  It is intended that we learn this early, as children.  Someone who learns respect early, becomes a person who respects his whole life.  This commandment teaches us how to submit to others, even when we don’t want to.  It teaches us respect for our teachers and mentors, necessary for us to grow as individuals.  This commandment gives us a lifelong pattern of respect for rules, traditions, principles, and laws.  Learning these things is a normal part of life.  By learning them, we can lead a truly happy life.

You will notice that someone who has no respect for authority, also has no respect or honor for his parents.  As a teacher, I have seen this too many times.  That child might say he loves his family, but when you first see them together, as a family, you realize there is no love or respect there.  That person will lead a bitter, difficult life, unless he learns what he did not learn in the home.

This role of parent and child never ceases.  It is not meant to cease.  Our parents cared for us when we were little and they taught us when we were older.  How often did they step in financially to rescue us as adults?  But eventually things change. If you knew my Grandma Rosinbaum, you would never recognize the woman she has become in the last few years.  That is what old age and dementia do to people.  My mother, not so young anymore, has taken the burden of caring for someone who rarely appreciates it.  I know my duty will be to step in and do the same for my mother one day.  I probably won’t stay in Bolivia that long.  I feel the need to honor that relationship by being closer to home.

Our families are our community.  One of the things I enjoy most in life are the summer cookouts at my mother’s big house in the country, with all the family gathered.  I know I can count on my nephews buying several hundred dollars’ worth of firecrackers.  Or when we all get together, like we did the day after Christmas, to visit the Dallas Zoo. 

After writing this, I suddenly feel homesick.